eh.

whats up? not much just like me? cool. same. I'm on spring break! Whoo hoo! Yeah! Lol jk I'm just at home. I got a new car though so thank God for that! Anyway the other night I went to the movie "Five Feet Apart". I was looking for a good cry and that is what I received. For anyone of you who haven't seen it and hate spoiler alerts stop reading. But then again how many of you actually read this anyway. So the whole thing is about these young teens who have cystic fibrosis and have to spend their lives living in a hospital and they don't get to be within 6 feet from each other in prevention of them giving each other bad bacteria. Then of course boy meets girls and fall in love so she decides that this disease has taken enough from her and she wants to take back a foot so she decides the new rule is five feet apart (hence the title of the movie). While I was watching, I couldn't help but think what if I lived my life like I was on borrowed time. One of the main characters kinda has a badass, too cool for school attitude about his disease but on the inside he is afraid. He is afraid that he is going to die. All of his not taking his medicine or sticking to his regimen was actually being scared of dying or what would come after he did. This movie inspired me to start living my life as if I was living on borrowed time because in a way I am. We all are. I hear stories all the time of people just going about their life and the next thing you know something big happens. They have a brain aneurysm, they are hit head on by a semi truck, they are beat and murdered by someone they just met, they are on a plane that crashes knowing they only have a few seconds to landing and their death. I cannot imagine being in that situation, and thank God I never have. But who's to say I won't ever be. As someone who is afraid to dies and claims they love life, I haven't really been living. Not really. Today that all changes. Yesterday I spent the day with my friends. We had so many laughs I can't even count. It was then I realized that this is what really living is about. It is all about the little moments that one day we realize weren't ever that little. I would not be who I am today without these girls. Living, really living, is about never taking those moments for granted. I have a problem living in the moment and I hate that. All we have is moments. I know that is cliche but it is so true. Some moments are great, some moments suck, some moments make you not want to have any more moments at all. But lots of moments are so amazing and inspiring. I want to live for all these types of moments. I want to have fun with my life. I want to do amazing, crazy hard things. I want to live my life for now.